사랑 상처
idk whats wrong wit me..
i feel awkward, not myself and mostly my heart feel hurt..
im smilling but inside me is killing me, i dont know..
i dont know what feel is this but my heart feel so weight..
love? i tho if i continue the relay, my heart will feel happy and like usually but
it's hard now, i still feel hurt and pain.. my heart keep say i dont deserve her,
i can't forget of it.. everytime i look at her, i always remember or imagine it..
i'm busy myself but my mind always remember it and its can't stop worry..
its not about she love me or not, it's about someone will take her from me,
it's about someone that i love also will go same like other person,
its hard for me, really hard for me to put someone in my heart so deeply
cause its afraid of getting hurt.. im afraid of getting hurt again n again,
i don't know why im so hard but my heart cannot stop feel guilty of
her, im confused rn wether my heart put her in my heart or outside of my heart,
to love someone and put them in my heart its really hard..
i feel like crazy person today, i had to pretend like everything alright infront of her,
i'm sorry.. but i don't smile alot today irl even with u.. i.. really.. dont know..
all i feel is hurt and pain not love.. i don't feel anything even with u..
when im with you today, i imagine alot, that u had another guy ady and we r
just friend.. i'm sorry.. im really sorry.. my heart so hard rn.. even with u
its also hard.. i'm sorry cause can't be a perfect bf that u want, i think we
just suitable to be a friends.. not more than that, i'm sorry i'm really sorry
that the only word i can say, i miss the time we r happy together.. i miss
the time we smile and joke each other, i miss the time i make u
smilling, i miss the time i teasing u alot, i miss the time that ntg happen
between us.. i miss the memories we make together before this..
i hope u know, im not myself anymore cause of love.. and i be damn
rude to all person cause i feel like hell inside, wheres the old me?
where? i miss the old me.. i miss everything.. i feel like different person..
my emotion all complicated.. i dont know wether to be happy or sad or both
cause it really complicated, i must pretend to be happy even i feel suffer
in this heart.. idk myself anymore..
new past
