☂☂☂
i don't know wat's wrong with me.. i don't know wat to do..
happy or sad it's all same..
outside me, must other people see me like im cheerful person,
but inside me, i feel like its killing me everyday i wake..
when i sleep, i can forget how's it feel awhile n sometime i wish
i should die.. i don't have reason to live, i can't stand to pretend strong
outside.. i miss the old me that fight for anything and think positive..
thanks to the person that care for me alot, im really appreciate it what u all did to me
i'm sorry cause im the person that hard to understand..
im blank, idk wat to do.. do im really too nice to people? maybe yea until i hurt
myself alot and never care of it.. i wish i can change it but i can't, this the real
me.. i like to be alone when i have problem cause i can think its properly..
i'm stupid cause still care of people feeling that hurt me, annoy me and forgot people..
so tell me, do i really forget friends to all person that say to me like that? i admit maybe
im forget friends but not leave them without reason.. when i ignore or leave the person,
i have a reason why i did that, the mostly reason why is i don't want get hurting by same
person so better i move on, yea i know its hard to find friends but im type that think,
if u still care about them the more u will get hurting.. but believe me, i remember all person,
their attitude, the way they talk.. my blog is all about hows my feelings.. i can tell all
my feelings when i really can't stand or don't know what to do.. im envy of the person
that can protect theirself.. sometime i think why i cant be like that cause im myself and its theirself? i feel really dissapointed when someone ask me " make me happy "
do i look like a place that can u all find happiness? that u all can act me like i have no feelings? cause of i be too nice? once u broke my limit, i will act like the most people
u dont know.. ah.. im tired with this all.. let me rest for awhile from people, i know
something happen for reason.. but i don't want ask why its happen, i want to ask why
i have to be this painful? why i have to alive? maybe i will lose everything, love, friends,
myself.. my mind is so blank of wat to do.. my heart feel so complicated, should i just leave
all of this and gone? should i gone quietly? i can't.. feel anything.. i don't want someone
comfort me cause i know it's wont change anything but what i feel more is painful, it's
like i force myself to be ok, i force myself alot.. i keep everything wat i feel.. i keep it while
force myself to smile.. ah.. i can't do anything but just let it.. i will wait until its will be
normal back.. i will wait until my hearts become alright back, it's need time to be alright..
i just need alot of patient and brave to face it.. so just here, goodnight..
new past
